It sounds like an feature exhibit at the Museum of Natural History or a Sunday afternoon “modern marvel” program on the History Channel; but alas, it is just a recent phenomenon I have experienced of late in my apartment. The radiator has a consciousness of its own.

The morning before last I had awoken quite late in the morning, to the gentle hum and airy cough of the radiator – which I had not turned on before going to bed. Unsettled to say the least I sprung from my bed, flung open the door to the temperate settings. The power switch? Decidedly set on OFF. I fumbled with it for several seconds, moving the gage back and forth, on and off, to and fro without any results – this thing was on and it was staying on.

Frustration unveiled itself. My challenge laid before me.

However, I played cool, going about my Saturday routine, finding something on TV, making tator tots for lunch… all the while knowing that the radiator might try, but would not defeat me. In my minutes fumbling with the power switch I had left it ON. Ha! This rouge of a radiator couldn’t bear the thought of actual running, warming, and distributing air through my apartment when it was actually supposed to be doing so – and so I waited.

The tv volume was low as I waited for the over to pre-heat and my radiator to cave.

The click echoed slightly from its belly, short and muffled. This time I walked powerfully to its side, slowly opening the gateway to its powerplate of dials, buttons, and switched. OFF it went. and OFF it stayed.

***

5:56AM the next morning, the click echoed again and cool air pillowed into my room. Its consciousness had not been stifled. It was in these early morning hours that I was defeated – taken from my bed, my flannel sheets, and numerous pillows to battle with this machine.

The ON/OFF match continued. Clicks ensued through the middle to late morning hours – two times I was forced from my bed to bring down the defiant radiator.

The afternoon was quiet, the evening (thus far) was quiet.