I am not particularly interested in politics or the debate and gossip surrounding the presidential race, but occasionally something will resonate. On Martin Luther King day, many weeks ago, Bill Clinton was filmed “resting” at an event… it wasn’t till his head fell off of his hand before he woke himself up to join the celebration. Obama fans faint. Hillary gets emotional. I think I like to see these things in the news, about these political figures and their family and followers, because it’s real. Without analyzing, we see that they are as plain-tired, extroverted and drained as the rest of us.

While making dinner the other night, I had the TV on as background noise. Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock was on, the part where she returns to her small town after a failed marriage. She sits, sleeps and drags on and around the house, completely ignoring her daughter, family and the many routines of life. I’m not particularly fond of the movie, but the point is that this is a similar scene in many movies, where characters rest for days on end, forget what day it is, build a pile of garbage around the chair they haven’t left in weeks. Usually, with the help of a montage, they pull themselves out of their situation, emerging triumphant.

But what I remember most about these characters is the desire that I have when I watch them drag through their relapse into limbo – the desire to find myself in the situation of having…wanting… nothing to do. Having the ability to lie around, stay in one place, forget work entirely, feel nothing and do nothing. Many times I wish for the solitude and even emotional numbness that one can find during “hibernation”. To play devil’s advocate, I’ve always told myself that I’d never been quite satisfied if I found myself asleep for days on end… thoughts of the things I might miss, or what I could have done would always undoubtedly circle my mind. The waste would drive me crazier.

Sometimes I surprise myself with how much I think of solitude… not just laying around my bedroom… but thoughts of sabbatical, vacation, work from home, space and time. One of the prizes for the biggest loser competition was a week away at a spa, by yourself. Many people in the office said how they wouldn’t even want to do that. I couldn’t wait to go.

Lately I have been listening to the Boondock Saints theme on my Ipod. Not because of the movie or really anything to do with it. When I listen to it, I get this picture of myself standing with so much space before me that I can almost get lost just thinking of it. It might be in Ireland, who knows, but while listening to that song I can almost convince myself how that space and solitude might fill whatever it is that’s missing.